


Untitled Love

by goldah



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-19
Updated: 2015-08-31
Packaged: 2018-03-24 18:47:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 12,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3780454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldah/pseuds/goldah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was Kelley's first training camp with the US Women's National Team. Meeting Hope Solo changes her life 360 degrees.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Kelley's POV

 

It was my first day at the US Women's National Team camp. I am sitting beside Tobin and Alex while waiting for our first meeting. I couldn't help biting my fingernails, I'm so nervous. I was looking around watching my teammates when suddenly a beautiful woman walked in. When I say beautiful, I mean drop dead gorgeous. I'm straight and my jaw dropped, that's how beautiful she is.

 

That face had eyes of blue, so blue that I thought they sparkled like the stars in the sky. Her nose was extremely straight and was framed by high cheek bones and a lovely jaw line. Perfectly straight white teeth were covered by thin but rather sexy lips that she invariably painted pink. Those lips were both blessing and a curse to Kelley.

On one hand, they were cute and the smile produced made everyone within view smile too. On the other hand, those lovely lips were murder to try to read. Kelley pulled herself together when she realized she was staring at her.

" Hope, Hope come here! " Carli called.

" Holy shit....It's Hope Solo! " Kelley curse herself.

" Kelley, what are you saying? " Tobin asked her.

" Nothing Tobin, " Kelley replied.

 

Thank God the meeting had started, I'm more nervous than before. I want to looked at Hope again but I'm afraid I will be caught staring at her. Coach Jill told us what to expect for the entire training camp. Dawn Scott, our fitness coach gave us our schedule for the day.

8:00 am Breakfast

9:00 am Arrive at training ground. In the locker room we can find our kit which includes t-shirt, shorts, socks, sweat top and cleats. If it's cold, add rain jacket and long pants, if it's really cold, woolly hat.

9:30 am Players lounge area for a cup of coffee/tea and hang out and shoot the breeze with the players

9:45 am Into the treatment room to chat with the physiotherapist or doctor if needed about any medical problems, even massage is also encourage. Any little injuries will be wrapped up and dealt with before the training session

10:00 am Off to the training field. 30-45 minutes warming up, jogging, stretching and gradually increasing the intensity of the exercise in preparation for the training session

10:45 am Intense running, sprinting, jumping and action on the football field, small games in teams, keeping the ball, lots of passing exercises

11:10 am Players are split into first team squad and second team squad. The real training starts with shooting practice, shadow play, team games and tactics discussed for the next 1 1/2 hours

12:30 pm Players re-group with the fitness coe to do a 15-30 minute warm dow

1:00 pm Lunch

 

" Wow! " This is what a professional player do everyday. This will be a long long long camp! " I muttered to myself.


	2. Chapter 2

Kelley literally decided that she's done looking for love after her heartbreak a year ago, she thought. From now on, she is going to just live her life and do whatever she thinks, partner or no partner. Even if she remains single forever, that will be fine too. Maybe romantic love isn't in her path for this life, and she will meet someone special in her next life. Whatever happens, she will always have her dreams, her life and her purpose.

 

Kelley, Tobin and Alex made there way down the dining hall. They were served with freshly baked butter rolls, spaghetti with tomato sauce, green bean casserole, steak and broccoli. After they grabbed there food, they sit down together. Kelley sit next to Tobin, she is directly across the table from where Hope is seated. Hope is with Abby, Carli, Hao, Christie and Boxxy.

 

Hope is cracking up laughing at something Abby said. Her eyes sparkled at Hope. Her laugh was like honey to her ears. The sound was like the gas to the car of her heart. Then suddenly there eyes meet. It sends a cold shiver through Kelley's body and she immediately turns around and gripped onto her spoon and fork and focused on her food. She was honestly so embarrassingly pink that she couldn't bring herself to look at Hope or anyone else on the table for that matter, in the eyes let alone her face.

 

" Kelley, what happened to your face? " Alex asked her.

" Huh? " she mumbled.

" Are you okay Kelley? " This time it's Tobin who asked her.

" Yah, yah, yah! I'm fine! " Kelley replied. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

It's the first day of practice, Kelley is so excited. She doesn't know that Hao and the veterans are planning on pranking her. It is there tradition to prank a rookie or rookies during the training camp. After dressing up for practice, the players are on there way to the training field. Kelley was predictably eager, ready to get out in the field and do some warm-up. She charges down the field to happily warm-up before her first practice and the rest of the players hang out at the back of the entrance door leading to the practice field doubled over in laughter while Kelley was kicking the soccer balls. After a few minutes, Kelley was surprised that she was the only one on the field, her teammates appear to be missing. Her teammates couldn't hold on to there laughter and Kelley heard them. She just shook her head and smiled when her teammates eventualy joined her on the field.

 

" Welcome to the team, rookie! " Hao shouted.

Kelley was obviously blushing but still poised. " Thank you guys! " she giggled a little. Kelley was looking around to look for Tobin when she bumped into Hope. 

 

" Dammit! I was so close to kissing Hope and now I'm kissing the field!!! " Kelley was getting up from her knees.

 

" Sorry, are you okay? " Hope asked me.

" Y-yees, I'm okay. " Kelley's voice squeaked. Hope smiled at her.

" Holy Molly, she smiled at me! " Kelley can't stop smiling. " Now my day is complete. "


	3. Chapter 3

Life was suddenly beautiful and wonderful. As the saying goes, " It's when you stop looking for love, that love was looking for you! "

 

Day 3 - Practice Practice Practice

 

The players were on the training field, warming up and doing some shooting drills. Coach Jill called up the players for a 4 v 4 game. The players are split into two teams, yellow and red team. Kelley was smiling from ear.to.ear, she is on Hope's team. They are leading 2-1 when she was caught in no man's land, 1 v 1 with Carli Lloyd. Lloyd dribbles forward with Kelley facing her and then move her foot round the ball and plant it then take it quickly to her left side. Kelley thought she was going to the right and Lloyd suddenly accelerate leaving Kelley behind and strike the ball hard. 

" Shit. I was fooled. " Kelley murmured.

Kelley watch helplessly as the ball comes near Hope and boom......Hope makes a ridiculous overhead kick save to deny Carli a goal to think Hope was caught off her line. Kelley jaw dropped.

" Man, she really is very damn good! " Kelley uttered.

Kelley's team won 4-3 courtesy of Alex Morgan winning goal. Kelley was high fiving Alex when suddenly someone.called her name.

" O' Hara! " Kelley recognized the voice but she just stood still.

" O' Hara, come here a minute! " Hope called her.

" M - Meeee! " pointing at herself, her voice obviously stuttering.

" Is there other O' Hara in here? Please acknowledged. " Hope said with a smile. Everyone just shake there head and giggle. Kelley's face is red, her heart beat faster and her hands are sweaty while she walked towards Hope.

" Hey, good job in there! I just want to give you some tips on defending 1 v 1. " Hope said.

" Thanks and I'm sorry you have to make an incredible save because I didn't do my part. " Kelley bowed her head, a little ashamed.

" It's okay, you will get Carli next time. Besides, it was one hell of move by Carli. " Hope grinned.

" Listen, when in 1 v 1 situation with an attacker, you should close down quickly, force the attacker to the weak side, break down and close the attacker down. Remember: fast, slow, outside, low, fast - approach the attacker with speed. slow - when you are close to the attacker, you must slow down and start stepping back with the attacker. Outside - face the attacker to the outside. Low - low center of gravity and get player low. "

Kelley was just looking at Hope blanked the whole time. Those cool blue eyes leaving her in a trance, with Hope's confidence and perfectly mix of femininity and masculinity unlocking her joy, her spirit meshes with her so fluidly to the point she knows that she like Hope.

" Kelley? Did you get it? " Hope wandered.

" Clear! " Kelley replied.

" Are you sure? " Hope asked.

" Crystal! " Kelley smiled. Hope also smiled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kelley is rooming in with Tobin which is a good thing. It's already past 10 in the evening but she can't still sleep. She can't get Hope out of her mind. She was laying down on her bed staring at the ceiling.

" Kelley what are you thinking? " Tobin asked her.

" Tobs, I'm gonna tell you something but please don't tell anyone, even Alex " Kelley pleaded.

" Are you okay? Tobin was worried.

" I'm okay..It's just that Hoope...

" What did Hope do to you? " Tobin raised her eyebrow.

" She did nothing. It's just that...( Kelley paused for while ) I think I like her, no no no, I think I love her! " Kelley covered her face.

" What? Why did you say that? " Tobin questioned her.

" This morning, while she was talking to me, I felt the feeling you see in movies but that you don't believe truly exists. My heart jump in my throat, my palms were sweating and every word I muttered sounded absolutely ridiculous. It wasn't because she was stunning (though she was), it wasn't because she was smart (though she most definitely was). It was her presence that made me want to take my heart out of my chest and place it in the palm of her hand. She was all I could think about. I would do everything I could to get close to her. She appeared in the black beneath my eyelids as I drifted into slumber, and I reached for her next to me each morning as I slowly reopened them. " Kelley just smiled.

" Oh my G Kelley. You are in love with Hope." Tobin raised her voice.

" Why do you say so? " Kelley asked.

" It's my gaydar telling me! " Tobin proudly said.

" Shit....I'm gonna die! How will you tell Hope Solo, you like/love her? Im screwed, really screwed. "


	4. Chapter 4

For the first time, Kelley was early in the dinning hall. She saw Hope alone reading a newspaper. The thoughts swirled in her head if she should say hello or just ignore her, she can't made up her mind. It's impossible to hold a decent conversation with Hope because Kelley is afraid that if she look at her in the eyes, she might be able to tell that she's melting for her inside.

" What if I just talk to her forehead? " Kelley murmured.

Your a coward Kelley and stupid at the same time. Forehead huh?

" Whatever! Go Big or Go Home! " Kelley is pump up.

She walked up to Hope. Her throat was lumpy and thight. Each step she took only made her walk fell further away, but she walked on.

" What was I thinking dammit! Kelley cursed herself.

 

She can feel a vague sensation wanting to throw up and trying to get to the loo at the same time. Her stomach starts to perform intricate back flips and the inside of her stomach feel like they're fluttering.

" Hi! " Kelley can feel her nervousness.

" Hey! " Hope smiled at her.

" I got you black coffee, but I brought sugar and cream just in case. " Kelley said then sits down across Hope.

" Black coffee is just fine. It's what I usually drink, " Hope grinned. " Thanks! "

" O' Hara.....3 points!!! " Kelley said, of course to herself. 

" No probs! Just wanna thank you for helping me yesterday at the training field with the defending. It really means a lot! "

" It was nothing! You're a good defender. " Hope sips her coffee.

" Oh my gosh! those eyes, those killer blue eyes. I'm a sucker for blue eyes. "

Kelley, your talking to yourself again!!!

" Your drinking smoothie early in the morning? " Hope asked.

" Yah, it's banana almond milk smoothie. I don't usually drink coffee! " Kelley smiled.

Most of there teammates are starting to arrive at the dinning hall. Kelley saw Tobin waiving her hand.

" Save by the bell. Thank God! I can't breathe anymore. My heart is pounding in my ample bosom. " Kelley again talking to herself.

" I'm sorry. Your saying? " Hope a bit confused.

" Oh! Got to go, Tobin and Aex are already here. " Kelley's palm are starting to sweat.

" Ok. Again, thank you for the coffee! " Hope winked at her and she blush.

 

Tobin was smiling at her when Kelley approaches there table. She sit next to Alex, Tobin, JJ Moe are also on there table.

" What are you smiling at? " Kelley obviously referring to Tobin.

" Hmmm! Now I know why you woke up so early. " Early bird, catches early worms right? " Tobin winked at Kelley obviously referring to Hope.

".Shut up Tobin! " Kelley slapped Tobin's forearm.

" Did I miss something here? " Alex questioned.

" Nah, I just wanna drink my smoothie that's why I'm this early. " Kelley explained making an angry look at Tobin.

Kelley: Anyways, do you guys believe in love at first sight?

Alex: Well, it's save time.

Kelley: Really. That you could meet someone or just...across a room, and with that one glance, you could look in their eyes and see their soul. Do you believe that could happen?

Tobin: (long pause, takes a breath) No!

JJ: Absolutely not

Alex: Why Kelley? is there someone?

Kelley: Nah! It just came out my mind.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Life continued with my attraction to Hope still occupying my mind when she came up behind me in the hallway. As I tried to remember to call my mom, her voice broke the silent reverie I was in. She had a husky, sensual voice that matched her sleek good looks.

" O' Hara, your not going with us to the mall? Hope asked.

" I am, I just remember I have to call my mom! " Kelley said.

" Oh! Sorry, family matters! See you later, don't be late! " Hope gives her a huge smile. 

Kelley's heart began to melt....of course, literally!


	5. Chapter 5

" Being in the training camp was honestly the last place on earth I thought I would find Love! " -~- Kelley

 

Malling Time

 

" Hurry up Tobin, we're gonna be late. We're going to miss everything if you don't hurry up! " Kelley is pacing back and forth with her arms crossing and let out an exasperated sigh.

" We're gonna miss everything or Hope? and stop pacing, you make me dizzy. " Tobin raised her eyebrow.

" Shut up! Your such a snail! " Kelley smirked.

Let's go, let's go! Abby is shouting while knocking on each door.

" See! " Kelley said.

" Whatever! " Tobin answered.

 

The players poked around various stores, checking out clothes and perfumes. Kelley doing her part, ran amok at every candy store she.can find. Hope is smiling. She likes Kelley's enthusiasm and fun loving nature. Hope can't believe Kelley is a Stanford grad with the way she acts childishly most of the time. 

Kelley on the other hand have finished buying almost all the food stuff in the candy stores. She looks around and saw Hope scanning books and novels. For a brief moment, Kelley pictures how wonderful it could be if they were a couple. She immediately scolded herself for such a thought. " Hope doesn't see you that way, " her inner voice droned in. They were just teammates, not even really close friends. They talked but never discussed personal details of their lives. She barely knew anything about Hope and vice versa. Besides, she was 7 years younger than Hope. Even if Hope was into women, she'd probably want someone closer to her own age.

 

" And what are you looking for? " Her inner voice continued. You are just starting your life and monogamy and marital bliss are not usually for young people like you. And Hope, she want a husband or let just say a wife for that matter, someone to settle with and share her life.

I'm still staring at Hope when suddenly she look at me and smiled. My face flushed. I don't know if it was from embarrassment of getting caught or because she is smiling at me. I told Tobin I'm going to go to the restroom. Tobin waved me away, trying to focus on her cellphone. I rolled my eyes before leaving. I went to the sink and looked up at the mirror. My face was red as a tomato, I tried to cool myself down by splashing water on my face. I looked at the mirror again, trying to get myself together before going back to my teammates. Tobin texted me that they are inside an Italian restaurant. When I went inside the restaurant, Tobin gestured me to sit down on the unoccupied chair. I let out a shaky breath when I realized that I'll be sitting next to Hope which made me feel uneasy. I tried my best not to look at her at all cost.

 

" Kelley, are you okay? Your face is so red. " Alex asked, putting the back of her hand on my forehead checking if I was sick.

" Im fine Alex. Just tired and hungry. " Kelley replied with a little guilt since Hope is the reason why she blushed.

Kelley can hear her teammates giggling while Hope is studying/looking at her as if she was an unsolved puzzle Hope just had to figure out. Suddenly, there food arrived, Kelley was thankful for it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kelley was alone in her room as Tobin was playing monopoly at Alex room. She was reading a novel while lying on her back when suddenly someone knock on the door. When she opened it, her eyes grew big when Hope was standing in front of her smiling.

" Ho - Hoope! What are you doing here? " Kelley tried not to crumble.

" Sorry to disturb you Kelley. Tobin told me this morning you have " The Emperor Waltz " by Philip Hensher? "

" Yah, I have! Sorry, come in! " Kelley was nervous to be alone with Hope in her room. ( nervous is an understatement )

" Thank you. Your alone? " Hope is a bit surprised.

" Yah, Tobin is in Alex room playing monopoly. Make yourself comfortable, I'll get the novel. " Kelley said.

Hope sat at Kelley's bed and saw a novel on the bed. Kelley handed Hope the novel when suddenly she touch her stomach and screaming with pain.

" Kelley, are you okay? Your white as a paper. " Hope said with a concerned look on her face.

" I'm not. I think I'm gonna throw up! " Kelley answered .

" Common Kelley, I'm gonna bring you to the hospital. " Hope immediately carried Kelley bridal style and rushed to the hospital.

 

Kelley's POV

 

I'd gotten extremely sick - emergency - room sick and although we had only know each other for a short time, Hope came to sit with me and take me back to the hotel. The ER drugs put me in a dizzy haze but all I wanted to do was continue reading the incredible novel I'd started that day. I groggily murmured my wish as I lay in bed. Quietly, Hope scooped me up into the crook of her arm, picked up the novel next to me and started reading. For hours, we lay there: her, stepping out of her comfort zone and me, listening to the soothing sound of her voice. No one had done that for me before. That's when I knew - I'd found who I was looking for!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Luce, Spence, Rache and Ash!

" It has been said a million times - you fall in love at a time you least expect it. Mine came at a time when I got fed up with love. Having lived a quarter of a century, I had my share of stories of unrequited love and bad break ups (which one is good anyway). Hence, after another hopeless tussle with cupid, I was ready to remain single for at least a couple of years.  
Or so I thought, until fate crawled in. " ~~Kelley

 

Kelley's POV

I slept for a long time. I woke up and thought about yesterday and how perfect the day was. I could not stop thinking about why Hope looked at me like that and teased me. But I could not ask her that.

Tobin: Hmmmm.....

Kelley: Tobin, where's Hope?

Tobin: Good morning to you too! Hope went to her room last night after you fell asleep.

Kelley: Ow! Okay.

Tobin: How are you feeling now?

Kelley: I'm okay now. Tobs, how do you know if your gay?

Tobin: How will you know if your straight?

Kelley: I thought that was the easy part?

Tobin: Nothing's easy....

Kelley: Well, it's like this, say I see Chris, he's cute. I'm attracted to him and then I notice the girl he's with.....and I'm more interested in her. And that's what scares me.

Tobin: Ok and botox scares me. Look at my mom and yet people still do it. That doesn't make it wrong, it's just different.

Kelley: I don't wanna be different..I just wanna be normal. You know, like everybody knows who they are, what they want, and who they love.

Tobin: Stop worrying about it. Look, whatever people consider to be normal, it never is.

Kelley: So give me the girls guide to dating girls

Tobin: Actually, dating a girl is like dating a guy

Kelley: Wow, I never thought it that way

Tobin: There are a lot of cool benefits. Mostly, another girl gets you. Your ups, your downs, the openness, your vulnerability, and they can give it right back. No coaxing. No having to go and buy a cosmo article on how to get a guy to open up. It's just all right there.

Kelley: And the bad part?

Tobin: Dating a girl is like dating a guy. They can lie, dump you for the pretty cheerleader, screw with your head the same semi-psychotic way a guy can and plus the worse, they won't talk honestly about all their feelings. I mean that's one good thing about guys, they never say anything, they actually listen.

Kelley: Gush, I suddenly get hungry

Tobin: When are you not hungry? Take a shower, were late for breakfast.

 

Scene: in the elevator

Tobin: What are you doing?

Kelley: I want to die right now. I never want to see another human being as long as I live.

Tobin: Your just coming out

Kelley: I am never coming out of tht elevator

Tobin: This is probably the biggest revelation of your entire life. it's normal to be going nuts. 

Kelley: I don't feel normal. I'm sick and tired of everyone saying it's normal, it's typical, it's ordinary. I don't feel at of those things.

Tobin: Well, how do you feel?

Kelley: Lonely

Tobin: Why?

Kelley: Because I'm never going to be able to walk down the street holding hands with my partner without the rest of the world giving us a look. And we never have the wedding that I once dreamed of and I may never have children. And one day when I die, people will never give as much respect to my grieving lover as if she were my husband.

Tobin: Kelley, it's not as if you made a choice

Kelley: That's what terrifies me. It's so much easier to be someone else.

Tobin: Common Kelley, let's eat. You'll be fine!

 

Dining Hall

Kelley was sitting with Tobin, Alex, Syd and Pinoe. They were talking about how will they know they found Mr. Right. Hope pass by there table and Syd asked Hope. Kelley can't hide her smile and a little nervous that Hope is near her.

Syd: Hope, how will you know you found Mr. Right?

Hope: " You don't know, not straight away. It just feels....warm and comfortable.....and you hang in there and give it a chance, before you know it, Yeah, this is it. Must be love. "

Pinoe: Yeah, I'm with her

Alex: I'm with her too. 

Kelley: I don't agree. I think you know immediately. You know, as soon as your eyes meet...Then everything that happens from then on, just proves....that you had been right in the first moment. When you suddenly realized you had been incomplete and now you are whole.

Pinoe: I'm with her

Syd: I'm with her, too

Tobin: Sorted. So, who's for pudding?

Hope: Yes

Kelley: No

Hope: No?

Kelley: No. If you think that, you think that everyone that doesn't have all business is settling for less.

Hope: That's not what I'm saying!

Kelley: That kind of is what you're saying!

Alex: I think she said it a bit nicer.

Tobin: Chocolates! ( Tobin offered Kelley and Hope )

" Okay okay everyone....proceed to the meeting room after! " Dawn told them.

Tobin: Let's go guys

Kelley: Sorry Hope, I was mean.

Hope: No Kel, I'm sorry!

Kelley: Let's just forget it. By the way, thank you so much for accompanying me last night.

Hope: it's nothing! Are you okay? 

Kelley: I am now. Thanks to you! ( Hope just smiled )

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After practice, the players went into the locker room. Some are in the shower, while others are just dressing up.

 

Kelley's POV

 

I saw Hope just stood there only her cycling shorts and sports bra. I turned and blushed, biting my lip as I rustled my clothes in my locker. I had a nice body, don't get me wrong but Hope, just......wow! I quickly put on my shorts, and white Hollister shirt only turning to see her gone. I grabbed my shoes and when I was about to walk outside, I bumped into someone falling flat on my ass.

" Hey Kel! " I looked up to see Hope again only this time she was fully clothed. I looked at her mouth slightly grin.

" Need a hand? " she said extending her arm towards me. A warm smile settled on her face with a tiny dimple on her left cheek. I nodded still sitting there on my ass.

" Ummm, you need a hand? " she asked again.

" What? Oh! Yeah, right. " I said grabbing her hand immediately feeling electricity shooting up my arm. She smiled at me and I couldn't help but do the same. We both kinda stood there awkwardly until she finally spoke.

" Oh, uhhh, here, allow me. " She bent dowm and picked up my shoes that I completely forgotten about. She dusted some of the dirt off of it for me and handed it back. Not only is she ridiculously attractive but she's also insanely nice.

" Shall we? " she asked opening the door for me. I nodded sheepishly trying to hide my face which is as red as tomato.

" So, " she said dragging on the simple word to break the awkward silence as we strolled along the.hallway.

" How do you find our training camp? " I looked up at her considering she was 4 inches taller than me - I'm 5'5 and she's 5'9. I found myself staring at her gorgeous black hair and stunning blue eyes. I turned away and stuttered.

" Ch-chaalenging!" I probably sound like a complete idiot right now but it's her fault for being so damn beautiful and stunning. Tobin......where are you?


	7. Chapter 7

" When cupid goes to work, no power in the world can prevent the unexpected from happening. "

 

Kelley's POV

 

There was a knock on the door, as usual Tobin forgot her cellphone. When I opened the door, Hope was standing in front of me smiling. Her eyes twinkled like fine diamonds.

" Hey, just wanna returned this novel and thank you! " Hope said.

" Your welcome. Please come in! " Kelley offered.

We sat side-by-side watching Sportscenter. a small breeze picked up behind Hope and carried her scent across the shrinking gap between us. There it was again. Her smell. Sweet and warm and spicy at the same time. Darker, more complex than any other girl I'd ever smelled. It was right for her. Just have a strange and beautiful and exotic woman like her should smell. Like a honey and that wonderful peppery woodiness that I couldn't think of that night while we were watching T.V.

Sandalwood.

That was it. Hope smelled like honey and sandalwood. I already wanted to roll in that scent, cover myself in it, breathe it in and out until I fell asleep. She often looked up to catch me watching her, and I know I would blush deeply. I'm sure it was like two pools of blue in a sea of red. At least when Hope saw me watching her, she would smile.

Hope: You seem uncomfortable? Do I make you nervous,.Kel?

Kelley: No. (eating her cookies to calm her down )

Kelley: Tell me, do you like pastries?

Hope: No, not really.

Kelley: Okay, well never mind then! What do you have for snacks in that case - let me guess, celery sticks and carrots? 

Hope: Actually, I'm not much of a snack person at all.

Kelley: No way. Well the reason I asked was because I've found you can tell a lot about a person by what kind of snacks they eat. Someone who indulges in pastries, for instance, like to indulge herself most other places in life, too. A girl who's more into celery sticks on the other hand prefers to live a life of discipline and regimen.

Hope: What about someone who doesn't like snacks at all?

Kelley: Obviously, she's not human, so probably it doesn't matter.

Hope: ( laughs )

Kelley: No, I'm kidding. It probably just means you eat really good meals and you're not hungry in between them. Wish I could do that.

Hope: Your smart! I like you!

Kelley: Really? ( smiling from ear to ear )

Stop that Kelley, don't be so obvious. Control your emotions...

Hope: Yah, really!

 

Hope's POV

I really enjoyed talking to Kelley. She showed me this dance she learned from her friend and it looked too damn funny. After a while we had to rest so our stomachs would not cramp from all all the laughter.

Hope: " You know what? I haven't laughed so much in a very long time, it's because of you. " 

Kelley: Wow! I'm flattered. ( Kelley, 10 points... )

Here we go again Kelley, strike two. Calm down, calm down!

Hope: Since you're smart, how about telling me the meaning of different kinds of flowers. Can you do that?

Kelley: Yah sure! I'm a Stanford grad, you know!

Hope: Geez....Kanye West in the making! (smiled)

Kelley: I'm not. Common, ask me.

Hope: Okay, tell me about Tulip?

Kelley: Tulip signifies declaration of love. It also symbolizes fame and perfect love.

Hope: Good. How about Sunflower?

Kelley: Sunflower symbolizes time and perfect love.

Hope: Impressive! Now, tell me about the Lily.

Kelley: You don't want to know about the Lily.

Hope: It's my favorite!

Kelley: Ask me about Azalea.

Hope: Alright. What about the azalea?

Kelley: The azalea means, " May you achieve financial security. "

Hope: Lovely. Now, tell me about the Lily.

Kelley: The Lily means....  
The Lily means...." I dare you to love me. " (Shit...shit...I'm dead)

Hope: Ow!!! Wow! Got to go Kel, thanks for the company!

Kelley: Thank you to you too!

( thank God)

 

When I arrived at my room, I can't stop thinking about Kelley. She is smart but childish. Nevertheless, I found myself intrigued by her. I was taken aback. Millions of thoughts swam through my mind. After a moment, which seemed like an eternity, I want to spend time with Kelley. I want to know more about her. What is happening to me?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a few days have passed!!!

 

Hope's POV

 

Kelley and I started spending more and more time together, just the two of us. After a while, I started to have weird feelings for her, feelings that I didn't understand. It scared me. So, I stopped spending time with her alone, not text her first so that maybe I could get this girl out of my life. However, it never happened. I would go looking for her or she would come looking for me.

I was so happy . Ever since she stepped into my life, it was a bed of roses and I loved every moment I spent with her. We were friends and close we we're. I laughed from deep within, even fo the stupidest jokes she said in her bumbling manner. She was never good at telling a long joke enough. I was happy, really happy. I had never expected to be so happy, after all that I.had been through. I had given up happiness for good until she stepped into my life.

Shocks....why is this so hard to text her about my plan. Common Hope...you can do this! Okay, whatever happens, at least I try. This is it...send!

~~~~~~

Kelle's iPhone beeps and when she saw the name of the person flash on the scree, she is so excited. She.opened it, looked at the message and then frowned. She can't understand the text because it is written in French. So she went looking for Tobin, ( Tobin spend two years playing in France ) and found her talking to Alex.

Kelley: Alex, can I borrow Tobin for a minute?

Alex: Sure Kelley. I have to go to Lauren anyways.

Tobin: What's up dude?

Kelley: Hope send me a text but it is in French, please interpret it to me.

Tobin: Let me see.  
From Hope: Est ce que vous voulez sortic avec moi ce soir? J'aimerai bien ca.  
Holly shit Kelley....Kelley's eyes grow wide!

Kelley: What Tobin? What did it say?


	8. Chapter 8

Texting a crush, is a team sport, especially in the beginning of a relationship. During the whole" I like her does she like me and where do we stand? " phase.

 

Kelley's stomach free-falls. Her heart races and her palms sweat as she waited for Tobin to tell her what Hope's text means.

Kelley: Tobin, your killing me. What does it mean?

Tobin: Kelley, Hope said she knows you like her. She said your cute but she's straight.

Kelley: Oh no! what should I do, I can't face her anymore? I'm really dead now. ( she is blushing and nervous at the same time )

Tobin: For the love of Jesus Kelley! calm down! Sorry, it's not what it mean. (she is smiling )

Kelley: Tobin Heath......I'm gonna kill you right now.

Tobin: Okay okay. Jesus, you really gonna kill me? You are really something! Okay, Hope said " Would you like to go out with me tonight. I would be honored/happy if you did. "

Kelley just stand there, shocked, jaw dropped and speechless. Her mouth got dry and her heart beat faster. 

Tobin: Kelley, are you ok? 

Kelley: Yaaaah! Are you kidding me Tobin, because it's not funny?

Tobin: I'm not kidding okay! If you won't believe me, ask Pinoe.

Kelley's face got all straight and she was all surprised cause she really liked Hope...it drives her crazy and she had a mini spazz.

Kelley: Okay, I believe you. This is unreal. What should I do Tobin?

Tobin: Of course you text her back. Just say " Sure, I wanna go out with you. I have been waiting for this moment since I laid my eyes on you! "

Kelley: Tobin....I'm really gonna kill you now!

Tobin: Sorry, your just so cute when you get teased! Just text her back and hurry up, Press might sneak in without you knowing it.

Kelley: Wait what?

Tobin: Grrrrrr... Press likes Hope, can't you see? In almost all our pre game huddle, Press is always standing besides Hope putting her hand on Hope's shoulder. You are clueless sometimes. You know that she's gay right?

Kelley: What? She is not. You need to reboot your gay-dar?

Tobin: Whatever! Don't kid yourself. It's better than your "breeder-meter"

Kelley: Why is that every gay person is so sure that everybody else is gay.

Tobin: It's not everybody else. Just the gay ones.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Date:

 

Kelley's POV

 

I started to get nervous, excitement of waiting to see Hope. Well I mean, she isn't here yet and I already feel I have butterflies coming out of my chest. I've been looking forward to this so much, this whole camp...well I mean, if you think about it, since the day I first saw her though I never thought it would happened. The waiting is killing me when suddenly someone knocks on the door. When I opened it, Hope was standing in front of me. I was.blushing quite a bit and sheepishly smiling.

 

Hope: Wow! Kelley, you look....stunning! 

Kelley: Thanks, you don't look so bad yourself. Please come in, I just wanna get something.

 

Hope's eyes were beautiful. It may have been her eyes that I was most attracted to. Maybe not, I don't know.....it was the whole package, her eyes, her body, her hair, and face, her mannerisms. They were all wonderful.

 

We walked down the hall out the door to her car. She waited by the door and opened it for me and then I got seated. She went to the side of the car and got in. She started the car and drove off to our destination. I can't believe this is happening, I hope it's not obvious that I'm so nervous.

 

Hope's POV

 

I had made reservations at a small intimate restaurant in Belmont California called " The Iron Gate ". It specializes in French cuisine. I have been there a few times and enjoyed the meals. They serve a chocolate souffle that is amazing. It has to be ordered with the appetizer so they can make it fresh.

Kelley likes to experience new.meals. I thought a French meal would be a great first date. The Iron Gate is the best place for that to happen. I made a reservation for eight o'clock and requested chocolate souffle for dessert.

 

When I went to pick up Kelley, I can't believe my eyes. She looked absolutely ravishing. Her make-up was light and perfect. Her lips had bright red on their but she looked beautiful. I couldn't have been happier. She had on a one piece dress of emerald green. It had a matching belt that showed off her narrow waist. Her figure was astounding and I loved how she looked simple yet elegant. There was an off white sweater over the couch which was what she was going to wear. 

When we arrived at the restaurant, we were warmly greeted by the maitre d' Henri. Our table was waiting and we were seated right away. Henri held the chair for Kelley and put her napkin in her lap. He came to my side of the table and did the same for me. He presented me with the wine list and I ordered a bottle of white wine without looking, Kelley was impressed.

Henri said, " Your appetizers will be ready in a few minutes. Enjoy the wine while you wait. "

I said, " Merci " in my best French.

Kelley looked at me and smiled. She was enjoying being courted and treated like a real lady. Henri brought our appetizers which were Crab Crepes. These were so tasty and Kelley just ate them up moaning with pleasure. Next he came with Crab Legs Bordelaise. Both of these were exquisite. We were both smiling amd having a good time eating. Our entrees were two of the house specialties Duck a l"Orange and Venison. When I made the reservations, I told Henri that we would be relying on him to choose our complete meal except dessert.

I had done this before and was treated to a meal that was not on the menu but far exceeded my wildest expectations. Tonight was no different. I was enjoying the food and watching Kelley's eyes stare wide open at the food and how it was presented. She was in gastronomic heaven. She looked over at me and mouthed the words " Thank you. " I smiled back and nodded at her. The table was bathed in candlelight and light from some wall sconces. It was a very romantic atmosphere.

Kelley laid her hand across the table wanting me to hold it. I reached over and clasped her hand gently. She looked down at our hands and looked up into my eyes.

She whispered softly, " This is the best time I have ever had. I never believed that a woman would treat me so well and bring me to such a wonderful place. I will remember this as my best date ever as long as I live. "

I spoke to her in a hushed tone, " Sweetie, I am so glad you accepted this date from me. You have brought new light into my life and I will remember this night and you forever too. Nothing and no one can take that away. "

Kelley squeezed my hand and I detected a tear of joy running down her face. I wanted so much to capture that tear and keep it forever. We finished our entree and ordered coffee for dessert. When Henri brought out the coffee, he also brought the chocolate souffle. Kelley's eyes buldged and her smile broadened from ear to ear. I could see the happiness and joy radiating from her face and her body. She looked over me at tears of joy and happiness were flowing down her face. I had truly succeeded in making this night special for the two of us. If my life ended tomorrow, I would leave knowing I made the life of a very special friend the best that it could ever be.

We finished the souffle and coffee. I signalled to Henri asking for the bill. Kelley excused herself and went to the ladies salon to freshen up from the tears. I got up and spoke to Henri thanking him for everything and shook his hand.

I saw Kelley returning from the ladies salon and went to pull her chair out and sit down.She had refreshed her makeup and was just as beautiful as ever. I reached across the table this time and she grabbed my hand squeezing it hard. I looked into her eyes and saw her happiness be also a peaceful calm had descended upon her soul.The tension that was always there was gone. She was finally at ease with herself and with me. Something wonderful had happened between us.

I asked her, " Would you like to go now?"

She looked at me and smiled, " Yes, we shall go now. "

I stood up and went over to her chair and helped her out.. She turned to me and hugged me tightly and we parted walking away from the table. We thanked Henri profusely and he held the door as we left. We walked to the car with our arms holding onto each other. I opened the door for Kelley and she went inside the car.

When we arrived at her room, she changed into some sweats and sat hugging me on the couch as we watched television. I do not know what we watched nor do I care. I was where she and I wanted to be and nothing could be better. We ended up sleeping on the couch all night. It was marvelous and wonderful.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I have to make it into two chapters. Supposedly its only one but when I posted it, not all I typed was posted so I just placed the unposted text to a new chapter.

When Hope wake up, Kelley lay next to her. She just stares into her eyes wishing that the moment could never end, wishing that she don't have to go so that she can just stare at Kelley as long as she can muster...it makes her smile. She lied there and thought about the date last night and how amazing it was.

She wiggled out her grip slowly because she didn't want to wake up Kelley. When she was finally free, she stood up and looked at Kelley again, she is still sleeping. Hope write a note and went back to her room.

After a few minutes, Kelley wakes up and found out that Hope is gone. She found a note beside the table and read it: Kel, I didn't wake you because you sleep soundly and I have to go back to my room. Thank you so much for last night, it was amazing! ( Kelley was smiling from ear to ear, she doesn't want to get up when suddenly the door opened. )

Kelley: What the......

Tobin: Ooooops...your words! 

Kelley: Where did you go? And where did you sleep last night?

Tobin: Kelley Kelley Kelley, how can I sleep here when I saw you so happy sleeping beside a premium grade A goalkeeper with your hands all over her. I don't want to ruin the moment. ( she grin )

Kelley: I did not. I just keep my hands beside me, your just teasing me.

Tobin: Really? You want to see the proof? ( Tobin get her phone )

Kelley: Nah, your just bluffing! Where did you sleep anyway?

Tobin: At Carli's and Hope's room of course. By the way, don't change the subject. Details details details....how's your date last night?

Kelley: Ughhhh...do I have to tell you about it?

Tobin: Of course! What are friends for! ( smiling )

Kelley: I'll tell you later 'coz will be late for breakfast. One thing for sure, it was the best day of my life! ( smiling )

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kelley's POV

 

I was extremely tired from our practice. While I was seated in the dinning table, Hope caught me yawning and came up to me and said:

" You really shouldn't do that, it hides your wonderful smile. " When I heard her say that I melted, I couldn't stop smiling.

After eating our lunch, I went to the pool when suddenly Hope came to me. I can't stand still, I'm nervous and at the same time happy to be near her.

Hope: Hey Kel, what are you doing after the camp?

I was surprised about her question, at the back of my mind, why did she asked me about it. It took about a few seconds before I replied. " Nothing really, just staying back at home.

Hope: If you want, you can go with me in Seattle so that I can help you with your training. I know you want to know more about defending, we can train together.

I can't believed what Hope just said, did I hear it right? She's inviting me to train with her in Seattle? Holly cow! I want to collapse right here, right now!

Kelley stop it....your so obvious. Behave....

 

" Is it okay if I have to ask permission from my parents first? By the way, if I'll be in Seattle, can you help me find a place to stay? " ( Oh my gosh! I hope she will let me stay in her place, it will be the best birthday present ever )

Hope: Of course, you should ask permission first. You shouldn't let your family be worrying about you. Kel, you'll stay at my place, you don't have to spend a dime in Seattle, I'll take care of everything. " 

Holy Molly Kelley! This is what you've been waiting for...go for it. Remember, don't be so obvious that you like her that much and don't be so conscious...she will know it. OMG! When it rains, it pours.

" Thank you so much Hope, I owe you one! "

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It took a little bit of negotiation from my parents over why I have to stay in Seattle for a week to train with Hope but at last, the plane tickets were bought and I held them gingerly in my hands as I boarded the aircraft taking me to Seattle. There was a sense of " this has to be a dream as I was caressing thin ticket slip slowly between my hands, wondering if I was going to wake-up any moment now in my half empty bed with her soothing voice watching me a good morning. It was the moment that I laid eyes on her that my chest grew heavy and my heart leapt into my throat - that one clear moment in time where nothing in the airport existed but her. The way the light shone off her thin light black hair, blue icy eyes shining with laughter. Every moment she smiled at me after that my whole body would feel as though it turned to jell-o. Never in my life did I ever think that someone would ever have the ability to make me feel warm and accepted, nor that I would ever love someone so much.

 

Hope's place was medium-sized and the living room was painted in light blue. There was a comfy looking 3 piece sofa set and a nice wooden coffee table. On the small wall, was a large book shelf filled with books. On the other walls, there were pictures of Hope and her pet animals.

" The kitchen is through there, " Hope said pointing to an open doorway. And the bathroom is down this way along with the bed, Hope continued as she walk that way. Make yourself at home. There's stuff in the fridge to drink and snacks in the cupboard. Hope told her then headed for the bedroom. She changed from jeans, shirt to track pants and a t-shirt. The bathroom was large with a porcelain tub and shower. There was lavender shampoo and conditioner and spring fresh soap.

" Want something to drink? " Hope asked.

" Some water please, " Kelley said.

Hope got a bottle of water from the fridge and some orange juice for herself. Kelley was still a little bit nervous now that she is in Hope's home. She have an idea to ease her.

" Can I cook for lunch? " Kelley asked Hope.

" You don't have to, your my guest. I will.take care of it. " Hope answered.

".It's the least I can do for letting me stay here. " Kelley insisted.

" Okay okay if you insist. " Hope raised her hands.

Hope watches in awe as Kelley was chopping and dicing, stirring and mixing. When Hope offered to help, Kelley declined. When done, Kelley had produced a chicken pasta dish, a green salad and a chocolate cake. Hope opened a bottle of red wine, they ate and talked by candlelight. They sleep early and ready for training the following day. Of course, they sleep in a separate bed...it's too early!


	10. Chapter 10

Training was so intense that Kelley was so exhausted and lie down in the grass. Hope just smiled, she find it cute...oooopsss....correction, she finds Kelley cute! She had an idea but at the same time a little bit nervous.

The past 3 days were training, eating, watching television with a little flirting here and there which is not obvious according to them.

Hope's POV

I had an idea but I'm a little bit nervous. After spending time with Kelley tha past 3 days, I fee that Kelley became someone very special to me. I wanted to show her how special she was and decided to set up a creative romantic date.

 

It was a long drive, somewhere along the way, the sun was shining mildly at us, it was a huge red ball that made the whole world around me glow. It was the most romantic sight or maybe I had never noticed the sun at that time of the day. Nevertheless, it was beautiful.

She said the sun was beautiful. I said it couldn't be compared to her. She smiled, I smiled. I felt warm and fuzzy. And then her lips split into a girl's grin that I still can't forget. That was the moment, it was indeed beautiful. And I wanted to drive to last forever.

Finally the night had come, on which the moon happened to be full. One of the most beautiful nights I had ever seen. I took her up to a lake above my town and we settled into an inlet on the shore. The moon shone down through a narrow piece in the water that opened up to the reservoir. I set up a fire and set blankets down. I had fixings for roasting marshmallows and making smores. I also brought some sparkling cider. We sat down next to the fire and looked across the.lake until it was dark enough to look at the stars, at which point I pulled o a book of constellations. We picked out star formations, and I told her the stories of those constellations which I had studied before we went on the date. The romantic myths were particularly great.

I then started some slow music on a laptop and we danced slowly on the beach. The sky was perfect, and the lake was calm. After dancing, we cuddled up into the blankets and watched a romantic movie under the night sky.

I stood up and looked down at her. She started to ramble. " I like you as more than a friend and I know it's a dumb but - "

I cut her off by pressing my lips onto her.

 

Sparks flew......

Fireworks went off......

Bombs exploded........

 

I pulled away slowly. " I know and I like you back. "

I can't believed what just happened but I'm glad it did. I feel like I'm the happiest person on earth. " Kel, I'm truly in love for the first time, a feeling I might have thought I knew before, only to realize I never did til we got together. " 

Kelley's tears is starting to fall down. She can't believed Hope had said it. She never imagine this day would come. " Hope, words are not enough to describe the feelings I have right now but what I'm sure off, I love you the first time I laid my eyes on you. "

Wow Kelley, your so cheesy.....I didn't know you have it in your arsenal. What are you waiting for......

Kelley just shakes her head! She just wish she could stay in Seattle for the rest of her life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

When Hope was in the bathroom Kelley went outside the room and called her sister Erin.

Erin: Hello Kel, is everything okay? it's late

Kelley: I'm fine Erin. I have to tell you something and it's not easy. It's really major. I don't know how to say it.....

Erin: Why don't you take 3 short breaths and....

Kelley: ........and one long

( Kelley takes 3 short and one long )

Kelley: I'm gay

Erin: What?

Kelley: As in Marvin..

Erin: What?

Kelley: As in, take the R out of Gray and BINGO!

Erin: Are you sure?

Kelley: It's like this. For years I thought I was content being single and I wasn't really interested in a relationship. I thought that when Mr. Right came into my life, he just would he - he wouldn't need some fancy invitation, he would just arrive. And then I rrealized that it's not Mr. Right I'm waiting for, it's Ms. Right. And I think I found her. And I kissed her and she kissed me back. But I'm not sure I've ever kissed a woman before and I'm not sure what the rules are, but I know I liked it and I think I love her. Now I feel nauseous again.


	11. Chapter 11

" Love is infinitely beautiful to let someone in the dark corners of your heart. Yet it's letting yourself feel that gives meaning to life. It is what enriches your soul, and it is what will make you crazy in the worst and greatest of ways. "

 

Kelley's POV

 

I woke to the smell of food and no Hope laying next to me. I got up and brushed my teeth and take a shower. I.put on some under armour short and white tank top. I went downstairs, there stood my boo. She was standing in front of the stove making pancakes and singing along with Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran. I listened to her sang in complete awe. She was hitting all the high notes and singing on point. My baby has the voice of an angel.

 

I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her laying my head on her back. I repeatedly ran my finger over her beautiful six pack. " Good Morning Baby", I said placing soft kisses along her back. Her skin is like chocolate covered strawberries in my mouth. She turned around and put me on the contour and pulled me close as she could. I wrapped my legs around her lower area and my hands found there ways in her hair.

 

She starred into my eyes as if she was staring into my soul. She leaned in closer and kiss me in a soft passionate way. After what seemed like years she.pulled away, " Good Morning Baby Girl". She smiled rubbing her hands along my lower back. 

 

" You just enjoy teasing me don't you? " I smiled still playing in her hair. She chuckled and smirked. "

" Aw, now you've got me wearing your shade. How convenient, just in case we end up in some spontaneous liplock. " I said.

" Trust me, it won't be spontaneous! " She smiled.

 

We ate our breakfast and her pancakes is so delicious and to die for. Of course, morning would not be complete without a cup of coffee. After we ate and wash the dishes and cuddle at the couch and talk. It was a serious talk and I can't believed what she said. While she unraveled the darkest past of herself, I found her more and more beautiful. It wasn't because I'm attracted to people who are broken but rather because I saw how large her heart was and the experience that made her who she was. I promised in that moment that I would always be there for her.

 

Hope's POV

 

Kelley and I would cook food for each other and spend time together watching TV or movie. We would kissed each other as we walked by or hold hands while we sat next to each other. Her skin was so warm, her caress so soft. In the evenings, we would sit out in the deck of my house and cuddle up close, and watched the summer stars. Sometimes we would lay out a pad and blanket and sleep on the deck and kiss beneath the starlight.

 

Within the next few days, after our hearts flooded open and my past unfolded. I had never told anyone about my family history among other traumas in such detail before I told her. She taught me to look her in the eyes, let myself crumble, feel understood for the first time in my life. It was incredible.

I found that it was easy and for the first time in a very confusing childhood, I didn't have to pretend or act happy when I wasn't. I didn't have to hold back on my opinions or pretend to be something I wasn't. I was me, in all my opinioniated strange and dark ways. I could laugh without being scared to do so and more importantly, I could cry and actually explain the reason why I did it. It was a wonderful experience for me, and I cherished our relationship that we were building in such a short time.

 

I was warmed by Kelley's love and enthusiasm. I love her sensitivity, kindness, caringness, patience and sweetness. She was the one I could see myself with in life because of her emotional openness, big heart and genuine care towards me.

 

I fell in love. But there was always a part of me worried that it was too good to be true, wondering what I'd done to deserve someone so special so soon. And when you put those doubtful, fearful thoughts out there, they just hang around waiting for an opportunity to prove you right.

 

The day have for Kelley to go back to Georgia and I can't stop crying. If I said it was the hardest goodbyes I had ever made , it would be an understatement. She quietly placed her bags near the door and said that she would see me again soon. We exchanged all the pleasantries expected and hug each other and then she walked out the door. My heart actually hurt when she left and a knot formed in my throat. I chided myself for such silly thoughts but I couldn't help the melancholy that hit for the next few days after she left.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry I haven't updated the past few months, I've been busy taking good care of my sick mom.

Kelley have been calling and texting Hope for a day now. She is very worried, Hope have not answered her calls and texts, which is not typical Hope. The last time she heard from her girlfriend, she was swimming in the pool with her brother and nephew. Hope's brother and his family are spending her nephew's birthday at her house and stay there for 3 days that's why they haven't have much communication because Kelley wants Hope to spend time with them as much as possible. Kelley doesn't know what to do, she is pacing back and forth when she remembers Pinoe.

 

Pinoe: Hey Kelley, what's up?

Kelley: Sorry to disturb you Pinoe, are you in Seattle?

Pinoe: I'm in LA, why?

Kelley: I'm worried about Hope, she hasn't answered any of my calls and texts for a day now. 

Pinoe: I'm sorry Kelley. Hope will be fine.

Kelley: I hope so Pinoe, thank you for your time.

Pinoe: Anytime Kelley

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

Hope had insomnia. She doesn't go out, train/work-out, just kinda laid on the couch. She slept only about 15-20 minutes a day of real sleep. She easily get really mad and frustrated about the whole thing and decided to drink herself to sleep. She experience bad fevers, leg numbness, severe headache, eye aches and had to pee a lot due to lack of sleep. It's not even a struggle to stay awake, it's that everything else is a struggle.

She have nightmares, those threatening or scary dreams that leaves her creeping out in her short sleep, thrashing around in her bed and waking up in a blind panic, soaked in sweat and her heart is pounding in her throat. She turn to alcohol to "escape" the nightmares or her chronically poor sleep quality which leads to other problems such as depression and anxiety, she is irritable and short tempered, feel tired and lack of energy.

 

Kelley's POV

 

I decided to fly to Seattle. When I enterd Hope's house, I saw Hope lying in the sofa, she looked like death or like a zombie. Bottles of alcohol are scattered around the floor, shocked was an understatement. Hope was holding a bottle of pills, my eyes grow wide. I pried the bottle of her hands, without thinking twice, I slapped her straight across her wet cheek.

 

Kelley: What are you playing at? 

Hope doesn't answer, she just looked at me. Idragged her to the kitchen sink, opened her mouth and taking her fingers, pushed them back of her throat. She gagged several times before being continually sick into the sink. I made her vomit until the liquid she produced was no longer frightfully white. I then placed her back on the sofa and handed her copious amount of water. She was an empty shell of exhaustion, it broke my heart, it truly did.

 

Kelley: Hope, what's happening with you? Your drinking again and you want to kill yourself? ( Kelley's tears are starting to fall from her cheeks)

Hope: you just came here to gave me a sermon? just shut up!

Kelley was taking aback from what Hope had said. This is not Hope she knew.

Keley: Hope, what happened to you? you looked like you haven't eaten and sleep for days.

Hope didn't answer, she just stared at the wall blankly. Kelley shook her, she is now nervous and afraid. Hope just stood up and pushed Kelley away from her, shaking her head and lead Kelley to the front door, like you head a small child back to bed. Silently, she guided her out on to the door step, much against her will and she said firmly.

 

Hope: " Go away and do not even consider coming back."

Kelley was shocked, she can't believed what was happening.

Kelley: Hope, are you kidding me? What's wrong? ( she is crying) What happened to you? please, tell me!

Hope: just go Kelley, I don't need you anymore! 

 

Hope did not close the door on her, she just stayed blocking her from the house, during her protest, then her tears and then watched Kelley walk away.

 

Hope's POV:

 

I entered my house, a surged of destructive vigour rose and simmered inside of me. I pounded my clenched fist on the side table, and then swung it sideways and brought everything on the surface crashing to the marble floor. Several photos shattered and where strewn down the hall, I flung myself after them. As I lay curled on the floor amidst the broken glass and memories , I wept fory loss of dignity. Or the theft of my dignity perhaps, for it was so brutally stolen from me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on the next chapter, you will know what really happened to Hope before Kelley went to her house.


	13. Chapter 13

Kelley's POV

 

As I stand outside the old-fashioned restaurant we shared on our first dinner in Georgia, I clutch my chest in a hope to cease my pain. It is hopeless, of course the pain lingers and increases. If I were in a Shakespearean play, this would be the heart-wrenching scene where the protagonist delivers a devastating soliloquy but taking his life in an attempt to end his misery. I am not in a Shakespeare play though so I jerk my like hood up over my head band eyes. I thrust my fist into my pockets and head home.

 

I arrived at my door, my face drowned in tears. I am not weak woman in build, I a not particularly robust but I have endured a fight or two. I did not used to be so, how to put it, "woe is me." Before Hope and certainly during our time together, for, I thoroughly appreciated living. I had no reason to believe myself to be so fragile. I guess it is not until you're broken, that you appreciate how effortlessly you can be so. It was not until Hope broke my heart, that I realized I had actually never been heart-broken before. If nothing, she proved to me that any woman before her, and frightfully any woman after her, could never mean to me than she did. It is a thought I try hard to avoid. I would like to believe that there bis more than one person for everyone and that ultimately you will find that person, and together you will prosper. I try so hard to believe this notion, but it's a challenging concept to adhere to, especially after Hope. S

 

She told me we are finished, it sounded forced and pained for her to say. I didn't believe it, but It still tore me apart begged her not to do this to me. A weight was dropped bon my chest. She didn't even text me to check on me.

 

Hope's POV

 

It's horrifying how much you can hate yourself for being low and weak and Kelley couldn't save me from that. So I turned it on her, I tried to empty it onto her. But there was always more you know. When she tried to help , I told her that she made me feel small and worthless. But nobody makes us feel that and we do that to ourselves. I shut her out because I know if she ever know what happened to me, she wouldn't love me. And we've separated now and I don't know if I'm going to get a second chance but I have to believe that I deserve one, because we all do.

 

I slept badly that night, my heart was not in the right place, it lay uncomfortably in my throat. "My life is so bad now, so I take this bottle and down I laid and forget everything. In my life was bad enough, I could just down all those pills and die.

 

When your depressed, sometimes the world can seem too overwhelming. I feel the bags under my eyes are sagging heavily onto my cheekbOnes and that the corners of my mouth are weighed down with sick-of-it-all. Trying to escape from the world and my problem in my life that I turned to drinking and taking pills.

 

I hated myself. I exploded. It wasn't quiet inside my head. My head was pounding again. My head was full of static, like white noise. Everything slowed down to my perception. Everything felt and sounded as if I were insulated in thick invisible layers of cotton. The world was distant and muffed. I was inside the bathroom, I savagely swept the items of the shelves. Things flew across the bathroom smashing against the wall. I grabbed the ivy metal pot hanging from the ceiling, and jerked it. I ripped the screws loose from the ceiling, plaster fell from a hole it left. I slammed the pot into the glass shower door with all my might. The shower door shattered and the upper third of the glass fell across my right arm that was now sticking through the glass door. The sheet of broken glass cut into my arm. The larger shards sliced deeply into my flesh. I went to my knees and felt my arm torn open, and then I only felt a dull pain that seemed to numb my whole arm and I passed out.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

Pinoe decided to check on Hope after what happened with her and Kelley. When no one answer the door, she remembers Hope place a spare key near the flower pot so she get it and open the door. She called Hope but she doesn't answer, she was nervous, she went upstairs and look at each door and finally she spotted Hope lying on the floor, unconscious and bleeding. She immediately carry her to her car and went straight to the hospital which is near Hope's house. She immediately called Kelley and told her about Hope.

 

Kelley was in shock, tears falling down. Her family told her to go to Seattle and check on Hope. When she arrive at the hospital, Hope was asleep with tubes attache to her body and bandages. She just stare at Hope without saying anything. Pinoe approach her and hug her. They just stood there for quite sometime when the doctor arrive.

 

Doctor: who is the family of the patient?

Kelley and Pinoe: We! ( they explain to the doctor that Hope is not in good terms with her family)

Kelley: how is Hope doc?

Doctor: she will be fine but we still have to observe her condition because she lost a lot of blood. There is one thing I have to tell you two which is confidential and this is a serious problem the patient and both of you two have to face.

Kelley and Pinoe just stared at each other, surprised and nervous what the doctor have to say.

Kelley: doc, you make me nervous. what happen to Hope?

Doctor: did the patient told you anything this past few days?

Kelley and Hope: nothing doc!

Dcotor: ladies, we have found out that the patient was RAPE!

Kelley and Pinoe was in total shocked to the extent that they can't move there body especially there legs. There jaw dropped!


	14. Chapter 14

Kelley's POV

 

I was looking at Hope with tears in my eyes. The worst part was this fear, it made me weak and emasculated that I wasn't there to protect her despite not even within walking distance of her.

 

The doctor explained that it is normal for a rape victim to have intense feelings of dislike and hatred to people in general or even to self. Not able to get the rape out of her mind, have trouble sleeping and have nightmares are some of the manifestations. They may find themselves spacing-out as a way of coping. Some people have flashbacks when memories of the rape intrude at different times-all these reactions are common, they are signs that there body and mind is trying to cope with what it has been through. People turn to alcohol or illicit drugs to "escape" the nightmares or their chronically poor sleep quality that leads to other problems such as depression, anxiety, are irritable and short tempered, feel tired and lack of energy.

 

Looking back at what happened to us, Hope have exhibited almost all of the signs. Now, I fully understand why Hope have been reacting what she did the past days. The best thing I can do is to support her and let her see a.therapist as what the doctor have recommended.

 

Hope's POV

 

When I opened my eyes, I saw the bare ceiling above me. Looking down, I saw I was in a hospital bed, covered with white sheets with an IV in my arm and a bandage on the other arm. I didn't remember much about what happened. Pain, I remember the sharp pain, how it become duller and insignificant and I started getting light-headed from the blood loss. I have bits aand pieces of memories band images from the emergency room. They doped me up and sewed up my wounds. I shuddered after recalling the most recent incident. I was about to press the call button when suddenly the door opened and I was surprised to see Kelley. She was walking towards me, I gazed attentively at her, my heart is beating fast. 

 

Hope: Kel, I'm so sorry. ( I winced as I applied slightly more pressure to inspect bmy injury. I hope that this would discreetly masquerade the flood of tears that poured rapidly down my cheekbOnes. My vision became blurred, as the salty droplets pooled in my eyes).

 

Kelley: Ssssssh....Hope, it's ok, you don't have to explain anything. ( she hugged Hope tightly). I will be right here beside you every step of the.way.

 

Hope: I'm so sorry that you have to see me like this. At least now you know who I really am. 

 

Kelley: I don't accept the judgment you have for yourself Hope. This doesn't define you. None of this. Please don't think like that, you're a strong creature and correct your wrongs.

 

Kelley cradled Hope gently and shushing her. Tears began to subside on Hope. She stroked Hope's hair and wrapped her other arm loosely and cautiously around her. Hope closed her eyes and said to Kelley: What has happened to me?

 

Kelley: Everything and nothing baby, new life is now your everything ae this incident is your nothing. I promise that I will not let this define you.

 

Hope: Kel, I have to tell you what happened to me please....

 

Kelley: ok Hope but you can stop if you don't want to continue. ( Kelley is now nervous)

 

~~~~~~FLASHBACK~~~~~~

 

It was the night after my brother and his family went home. In the middle of the night I was abruptly awakened by an intruder who put his arm under my pillow and grabbed my mouth and held my jaw firmly in his grip.

 

I was horrified.

 

I immediately began to scream and he said: " If you don't stop screaming, I'll kill you."

 

I couldn't turn my head to see who he was because he was holding my jaw.

 

He violently shoved my face into the pillow and brutally raped me.

 

My mind seemed to shut down, I was in a deep state of shock and felt completely numb. I could not believe it was happening.

 

After he raped me, he reached for the other pillow and pushed it hard against the back of my head.

 

" This is it, I thought to.myself. " He's going to suffocate me and I'll never see you again.

 

Next, I heard him pick up my bedroom phone and yank the.cord out of the wall.

 

I remained in bed motionless for a few moments, still in shock, not knowing if the rapist was still in the house.

 

I slowly got up and walked toward the bedroom door as I trembled in fear. I stopped and listened for any noise, then I saw that the front door was open, so I quickly closed and locked it. 

I picked up the phone in the living room, not knowing if there would be a dial tone or not. Thankfully, there was.

Still shaking, I called my neighbour and tell her what happened and she called the police.

 

The more I tried to stop crying, the tears flowed faster. I covered my face with my hands trying to hide my shame. I felt the tears laden with pain flowing down my cheeks into my hands. How could I describe this overwhelming pain that won't end? I could tell you that I need to stop this pain. Could you understand how bad the pani really was? Could you even imagine how my mind constantly replayed what happened over and over, like a horror movie that would end and instantly start all over again? After ball, I replayed the rape in my mind everyday and every night, seemingly 24 hours a day.

 

I feel so sad and very upset. The incident has made my life very miserable because of over-thinking what has happened to me. I don't want to think about what happened but I'm unable to keep it from my mind. I feel like dying and thinks I should be dead. Regret, anger, fear and shame consumed me. I had experienced them all.Those emotions have fulled and overwhelmed me.

 

Kelley's tears are falling fast. She can't move, she's numb.


End file.
